Moving On, Without Forgetting

Once a year, I make a journey back to the Hospital where I did my cancer treatments 11 years ago. Each year, they do some routine blood work and scans to confirm that I’m still in the clear, which I have been every year since 2001.

It is a break from my normal activities but it is always a walk down memory lane. I drive past the family medicine clinic where I received the initial diagnosis and the parking lot where I sat in my car and cried while telling my parents. I walk past the clinic where I met my first oncologist and got to know the reception staff as I checked in every two weeks for 6 months before going upstairs for chemotherapy. I find my way down to the sub-basement where I received my radiation treatments and think about the tattoos (my wife loves telling people about those.) I think of all the doctors and nurses I met and patients I saw in my combined 15 months of treatments over a 3 year period.

This time, as I drove up for the first time in 12 months, I was surprised that the hospital has built a brand new cancer center. They are known worldwide for this so it’s understandable. But the memory spots are gone. A few of the reception staff are the same but it’s a beautiful new building and most people I used to see have retired or moved on. This has been happening over the last 11 years but today it seems in one fell swoop, change has overtaken my memories.

I know, of course, that I have moved on in many ways also. Married, two children, a degree, and a few job changes since all of this happened. But I don’t ever want to forget the work God did in me during that time. These annual treks used to be a string of reminders, but those are fading. I will have to look for other ways to keep the memories fresh. Maybe I will write that book I started thinking about 11 years ago. Whatever it takes to continue giving God the glory He is due. The hospital may have moved on, but I am committed to never forget.

What about you? Anything you need to move on, but not forget?

Thankful for Challenges

Happy Thanksgiving!

On this beautiful day, I have to admit I have a lot to be thankful for. My health, my family, my friends, a great job, and God’s ongoing provision in my life.

In the spirit of this blog, though, I thought it might be good to reflect on how thankful I am for the challenges God has used in my life.

I can’t begin to count the number of times I have faced challenges at work or in ministry, problems that had no easily identifiable solution. And many of those times, when things seemed hard, I remember thinking, “Is this going to work out?” It’s easier to trust God and believe when everything is going well.

On a more significant note, those of you who are close know that I was diagnosed with and went through extended treatment for cancer in 2000 and 2001. As a young man, facing a diagnosis like that was life changing. I matured a lot through it and am glad to say I’m now at 11 plus years in remission. But that season was a defining time for me as I walked through the first real hard time in my life and had to lean on God for the strength to keep going. When times get hard, it takes a different level of faith and trust in God.

Hebrews tells us that “faith is being sure of what we hope for, certain of what we do not see.” It’s only when we don’t see the answer, the result, the other side, that faith has to kick in.  Every one of those challenges, including cancer, God used to grow my capacity to believe Him for a solution or a victory. He reminded me that David had to fight the lion and the bear before he could build the faith to fight Goliath. And fighting Goliath was just one of the big things God had planned for David.

I’m thankful for the victories, but today I also want to say I’m thankful for the challenges. I’m thankful that every little challenge I walk through, even if it seems big in the moment, is increasing my faith for bigger things to come.

Do you have any challenges that you should thank Him for, past or current?

See the waves, but step out anyway

I used to think faith was being confident and secure regardless of the circumstances. Perhaps that you almost didn’t see the circumstances.

But I’ve never had that gift. I see the circumstances. And I see them all. I see the ones many around me don’t see and thanks to letting them rule me for about 25 years, I tend to be VERY cautious. And I thought God wanted to fix my confidence and insecurity BEFORE He could use me.

Lately, though, I’m starting to realize that it’s not about my insecurity being gone; it’s about Him using me through my insecurity. I’m insecure when I pick up a microphone, but when I do it because He told me to and I open my mouth, He gives me the words.  I’m insecure when I reach out to serve or befriend a stranger, but He brings security when I step out, not before.

I used to think it was about not seeing the water. Now I see the waves, but I have to step out anyway.