I used to think faith was being confident and secure regardless of the circumstances. Perhaps that you almost didn’t see the circumstances.
But I’ve never had that gift. I see the circumstances. And I see them all. I see the ones many around me don’t see and thanks to letting them rule me for about 25 years, I tend to be VERY cautious. And I thought God wanted to fix my confidence and insecurity BEFORE He could use me.
Lately, though, I’m starting to realize that it’s not about my insecurity being gone; it’s about Him using me through my insecurity. I’m insecure when I pick up a microphone, but when I do it because He told me to and I open my mouth, He gives me the words. I’m insecure when I reach out to serve or befriend a stranger, but He brings security when I step out, not before.
I used to think it was about not seeing the water. Now I see the waves, but I have to step out anyway.